Writer and cultural commentator Francesca Valli explores what it means to grow older in a culture that often treats ageing – particularly for women – as a form of disappearance.
Through her Substack publication Rethinking Age, Francesca develops a strand of feminist cultural criticism that challenges the narratives suggesting women become less visible, less formidable and less relevant with time. Instead, she argues for a more purposeful and defiant relationship with ageing: a call to rethink how we “affirmatively, defiantly, purposefully invest the time we have left on this planet.”
CADA Co-chair Elizabeth Lynch listened to Francesca’s speech – delivered earlier this month at Battersea Arts Centre – formerly Battersea Town Hall – as part of Quarantine Theatre’s public speaking project Why I Am and Why I Am Not. The event brought together twelve residents of Wandsworth from very different walks of life: among them a child, a professional speechmaker, a recent arrival to the area, a domestic abuse campaigner, and former Battersea MP Lord Alf Dubs. Each speaker began with the phrase “Why I Am” or “Why I Am Not”, responding to the legacy of Bertrand Russell’s famously controversial 1927 address, Why I Am Not a Christian.
In the speech that follows, Francesca brings her distinctive perspective on ageing, identity and public voice to this historic stage.
I’ve been waiting my entire adult life to become invisible. I’m still waiting. And I want to tell you why that matters. I want to tell you why I am fearless.
We’ve been taught to believe – all of us, but women especially – that as we age, we become less visible, less dynamic, less there. I am in my seventh decade, and I can tell you: I am still here. The invisibility cliff doesn’t exist.
What I found instead – what replaced that invisibility narrative – was fearlessness. Not the reckless fearlessness of youth, but the earned fearlessness of experience. And that quality will keep you formidable and visible, no matter your age.
I’ve earned the right to say this. I’ve lived 50+ years of working life, moved countries, started businesses with risk, confronted prejudice, supported people who do good in society. I’ve made stands that were painful and lonely. And I’ve arrived today more fearless than I’ve ever been.
As a young woman, my culture declared it was not worth sending me to higher education – I was just a girl. I still grew up believing in equality and dignity for all. Not as abstract philosophy. As lived conviction. Women’s brilliance? I amplified it. Racism? I confronted it. Every single time. Not in marches. In moments. In meetings where staying silent would have been easier. And when I had power? I used it. Equal teams. Respectful environments. Not just paper policies – actual equality.
Was this lonely? Yes, Painful? Absolutely. These were meaningful acts, however small.
But what about an act that could cost you your life? Our generations in the West have only known peace. [For now]. We’ve never had to risk our lives for our beliefs. Hélène Podliasky did. I cry at her story. She’s 24 years old. A Jewish engineer. An agent for the French Resistance. It’s 1944 and the Gestapo captures her. They send her to Ravensbrück. A sickening place of no return. She’s forced to develop anti-tank weapons for the Nazis. But she’s an engineer. And she finds a way to sabotage them. She makes these weapons hopelessly unreliable. And she succeeds. This is what she thinks: This is my moment. This is my purpose. This is the one thing I can finally do.
We may never face what she faced. We don’t have to be heroes. But we do have to be brave. Acts of everyday resistance create a better world.
Look at the Shard. Almost no matter where you are in London, you look up – and there it is. In its fearless splendour. It stands beside the Southwark Cathedral, a thousand years of history between them – it doesn’t apologise for being modern. It doesn’t diminish itself to fit in. It is bold, unapologetic, magnificent. That’s what fearlessness looks like.
Look at me. I am the continuity of my younger self. The young woman who left her country, who confronted prejudice, who said no when it was lonely to do so. It is the pride in my years now. The wisdom that fuels my fearlessness. It makes me formidable. It makes me visible. No misplaced timidity here. Not at my age. Not at any age.
Stop accepting the cultural narrative that says you have an expiration date.
What is your Hélène Podliasky moment? What is your purpose? What is the one thing you can finally do?
No more waiting. Begin now. May you live with fearlessness. Formidable and visible. Forever.
Creative Ageing: Development & Agency 